


Clint and Phil's trip to IKEA

by Jo (jmathieson)



Series: Tangents and Intersections ~ Kink Bingo 2013 [45]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Community: kink_bingo, Domestic Bliss, Established Relationship, Floor Sex, Fluff, M/M, Pervertibles, inappropriate use of IKEA furnishings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-03
Updated: 2013-09-03
Packaged: 2017-12-25 11:19:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/952462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jmathieson/pseuds/Jo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint and Phil buy furniture for their new house.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clint and Phil's trip to IKEA

**Author's Note:**

> Kink Bingo Round Six (2013) ~ Pervertibles

"I can’t believe we actually did this. It’s really ours," Clint said, rolling off his back, propping himself up on an elbow, and smiling.

"We did, and it is."

"Our house. That sounds so…"

"Domestic?"

"I was going to say awesome."

Phil smiled down at Clint, lying on the hardwood floor of the empty living room, golden sunlight streaming in from the French doors behind him.

"So, are you going to come help me with the boxes, or are you going to just lie there?"

"How about you join me down here instead?" he asked, with a hopeful little grin.

"Much as I'd love to, we need to get the rest of the boxes out of the hallway, and then we need to get to IKEA, that is, if you want a bed to sleep on tonight."

"What's wrong with the old one?"

They had already discussed what new furniture they were going to buy, and agreed that Phil's old bedroom set would go in the guest room (they had a guest room!) but Clint hadn't realized that Phil meant he wanted to shop for furniture on the day they moved in. On the other hand, considering their work schedules, and the tendency of emergency missions to pop up at the most inconvenient times, if they didn't buy a new bed today, they might not have one for weeks, or months.

"I just thought it would be nice to spend the first night in our house in a new bed, that's all," Phil said, trying not to sound disappointed.

"You're right. It's a great idea!" Clint bounced up off the floor with renewed energy and headed for the hall. "Where do you want me to put these boxes, then?"

"Anywhere out of the way so that we don't trip on them when we're carrying the new furniture in later."

It took Clint and Phil ten minutes to shift all the boxes out of the way, then Clint put his hands on his hips and said, "Ready when you are."

"OK, let me just put on a clean shirt." Phil opened a duffle bag that held a bunch of essential items, including a change of clothes, and both their shaving kits. He pulled out a light blue denim button-down shirt and stripped off the old t-shirt that he'd been wearing. Clint watched appreciatively, but knew better than to make a lewd proposal - Phil would just remind him about the lack of a mattress.

"Got one in there for me?"

Phil fished in the bag again and tossed Clint his favourite grey long-sleeved Henley. Clint pulled it over his head and ran his hand through his hair. He looked up to see Phil watching.

"You're gorgeous."

"I love you too. IKEA serves lunch, right?"

"All the hotdogs you can eat."

An hour later they were standing in the bedroom display area, trying to decide between 'HEMNES' and 'SVELVIK'.

"If you want to go with the wood, we can always bolt a couple of D-rings onto the frame, somewhere... discreet for when we, ah, you know..."

"True. True. Look at all those vertical bars on the metal frame, though."

"I'm looking, Phil. Believe me I'm looking, and seeing all sorts of... possibilities."

"Yes, me too. So we'll take that one, then?"

"Yeah." Clint swallowed, and looked around for something to distract himself from thinking about 'possibilities' while Phil carefully noted down the set of numbers they would need to find the correct pieces of 'SVELVIK' in the warehouse later. He wandered a few steps over to the sheets-and-pillows section, and something caught his eye.

When Phil turned to find him, Clint held up a foam pillow with a semi-circle cut out in one side. Phil came over and read the tag which explained that the 'GOSA LILJA ' pillow was designed for people who slept on their sides. Phil's eyebrows went up, he and Clint tended to sleep on their fronts or backs, mostly. 

Clint held the pillow out flat, then stuck his other hand through the cut-out section from below. He wiggled his fingers suggestively.

"We should get two," said Phil with a straight face. Clint tossed two of the pillows into their cart, and tried not to laugh out loud. This was going to be the best shopping trip ever.

They picked up two sets of sheets (one purple, one navy blue), and a chocolate-brown duvet cover.

The next section of the showroom was sofas and chairs. They'd agreed that the old sofa would go in Phil's new home office, and they'd get a new one for the living room. Clint tried each of the ones on display before declaring that 'EKTORP' was the comfiest. Phil was starting to write the tag number on his list when Clint stopped him.

"No, we have to test it first."

"What do you mean, test it?"

"We need to make sure it's properly cuddle-able."

"Cuddle-able?"

"Cuddle-friendly? Cuddle-enabled?" Clint was sitting in the corner of the display model, arm up on the back, beckoning Phil to sit down with him. Phil only hesitated slightly, before sitting down and letting Clint pull him into 'cuddle position.' He was getting better at showing affection in public, and besides, this was IKEA, surely at least a quarter of their customers were gay...

"Feels pretty cuddle-enabled to me."

"Yeah. Me too. OK, boss, put it on your list."

"What colour slipcovers do we want, the brown or the navy blue?"

Clint shrugged, "Blue?"

Phil nodded and wrote the number down, along with a "2" in the quantity column.

"Why do we need two? We're only getting one sofa, right?"

"So that we'll have a spare when one gets... messy."

"Messy."

"Yes."

"Why Phil Coulson," Clint purred, "are you planning to get messy with me on our new sofa?"

"Yes. Regularly."

Clint wanted to jump him right there and then. He wondered how long it was going to take to assemble to the bed when they got home. Maybe Phil would be up for a quickie on the sofa before they got out the Allen wrenches...

"Speaking of getting messy on the sofa." Clint pointed at a chair, "That has some very interesting possibilities, don't you think?"

"What do you..." Phil looked at the rattan chaise-lounge. It was shaped like a letter 'S' and he had an image of himself laying on it with Clint straddling his lap, powerful thighs pumping himself up and down on Phil's hard cock... "...oh." Phil cleared his throat and tried to adjust his trousers discreetly. "It probably won't hold our combined weight," he said, looking at the tag which read, 'KARLSKRONA'. Clint tipped it over.

"Steel frame," he pointed out.

"Scratchy." Phil countered, rubbing his hand over the rattan.

"Throw blankets. Towels." Clint said, then leaned his head closer to Phil's and said, "One of those fake sheep-skin rugs. Just think of how I could ride you..." 

Phil was already getting the little IKEA pencil out of his pocket and writing the number for 'KARLSKRONA' down on his list.

They made it through the lighting department without incident, and Phil had simply glared at him when Clint tried to discuss the bondage possibilities of a towel-stand that they saw in the bathroom department. Then he felt bad, and let Clint add 'SVALEN,' a shower curtain with silly cartoon fish on it to their cart. Clint was loitering in the kitchen section when Phil whispered in his ear,

"The sooner we're done here, the sooner we get to go home and fuck."

Clint tossed a couple of small items into the cart and headed purposefully in the direction of the warehouse section of the store. They made good time until they hit the textile section, where Clint went in search of the faux-sheepskin rug, and Phil decided they needed throw-cushions for the new sofa, and was torn between 'ELVILDA' and 'LAPPLJUNG'. When Clint reappeared with the cart, Phil tossed two of each into it. There was another delay when they hit the décor section, or as Clint thought of it, the 'smelly candle' section. He started to protest when Phil stopped right in the middle of it and started to look at said smelly candles.

"What do we need those for?"

"We now have a nice big bathroom with a nice big bathtub."

"Yeah, and?"

Phil leaned over and whispered in Clint's ear.

"Really? You want to do that?"

Phil nodded, his ears turning a little pink.

"Well, OK then!"

They made it out of the 'Marketplace' and into the warehouse section, Phil reading off his list and Clint pulling boxes off shelves and piling them onto the trolley. Or trolleys, when it quickly became clear that everything wasn't going to fit on one. 

Standing in line at the cash, Clint asked,

"Are you sure all this is going to fit in the van?"

"Yes."

Phil had borrowed a SHIELD unmarked van for the day, and they were starting to talk about whether they should buy a car. Clint was angling for matching motorcycles instead, which Phil insisted weren't practical. 

"More fun, though," Clint had said, and Phil just smiled at him affectionately.

Clint leaned in close, "I really want to grab you and kiss you right now," he whispered.

Phil slid his arm around Clint and pulled him close. 

"Will this do for now?"

"Yeah. Yeah this is great," he said, trying not to think about how much he wanted to nuzzle the side of Phil's face. He turned to look straight ahead, which proved to be a tactical error because it put 'KARLSKRONA,' the rattan chaise-lounge on their cart directly into his light of sight. Clint's tongue snaked out to lick his lips at the thought of what he and Phil might do on that particular piece of furniture later today. 

They finally got through the cash, and managed to load everything into the van without having a fight about what should go where. They got stuck in traffic on the way home.

Clint leaned back in the passenger seat of the van and closed his eyes, aiming for (and almost achieving) the Zen-like patience he was known for on missions. It took Phil seven minutes to figure out how to bypass the traffic jam, and then another 20 to get them home.

Unloading the van went smoothly. As soon as the last box was indoors, Clint stripped off his (now sweaty) shirt and headed for the fridge. Phil had been his usual supremely organized self, and stocked it with milk, Gatorade, and beer first thing that morning. He took out two beers, opened them, and headed back to the living room where Phil was standing with his hands on his hips, looking at the piles of boxes.

Clint put his arms around Phil from behind and handed him his beer. 

"Cheers," he said, clinking their bottles together.

"Cheers." Phil took a swig.

"So, do you think..." Phil started to say. Clint kissed the back of his neck. "We should..." Clint nibbled on his earlobe. "Order pizza now..." Clint trailed a series of nips and kisses along the side of his jaw. "Or do you want to..." Clint captured his mouth, kissing him deeply until they were both breathless.

"I want you." Clint turned Phil in his arms. "Here. In our house." He wrapped his arms around Phil and kissed the side of his neck again. "On the floor or up against the wall." Clint's free hand found Phil's ass and pulled their groins tightly together. "On the old bed or the new mattress." Clint thrust into him, hard and needy. "Or the sofa or that ridiculous chair thing we just bought." Clint kissed him again. "I just want you."

They ended up naked on the floor on the fake sheepskin rug and a pile of EKTORP sofa cushions, and when they were done, Clint held Phil close and whispered, "This is our house, Phil, but you're my home."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks always to my excellent editors t! and Shazrolane.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr at: [Queen of Wands](http://jmathieson-fic.tumblr.com/)


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